Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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