my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
