Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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