You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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