Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
