i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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