it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
