shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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