So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hippo gnu deer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
