The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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