Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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