we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
