She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
