Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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