I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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