put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
