ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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