that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The beer is more important than you right now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
