just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're a waste of cheezeits
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
