you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is her dick bigger than yours?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
