cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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