never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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