it was like his penis was on wheels.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
