is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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