I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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