So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
