I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
