I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
