you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Pants are for mortals
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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