Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
