hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
