As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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