I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
