he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
