I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
