i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
