Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
