Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
