I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
