it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
