no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
