first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
