I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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