I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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