8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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