im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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