he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
