i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
