I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
