You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
