Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
