Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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