Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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