i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they're like a gay fantastic four
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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