I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
