until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
