I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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