So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
