Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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