i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
